Egyptian humor
Two Egyptian jokes that I like better every day.
The first is about election fraud:
In 2000, Bill Clinton is afraid concerning the upcoming presidential elections. He's been impeached, the country seems to be moving to the right, he's afraid of a resurgence of religious politics...
So he calls up Mubarak: "You're good at this, can you send someone over to take care of the elections here?" Mubarak promises to send his most trusted advisor, and assures Clinton that he has nothing to worry about.
So the election goes the way it goes, and Clinton calls up Mubarak, furious. Mubarak hasn't talked to his advisor yet, and so is confused, but he apologizes to Clinton and says he'll look into it.
Mubarak's advisor returns and Mubarak asks him, "What happened? Clinton just called me, furious!"
His advisor replies: "Congratulations, Mr. President. The United States is now yours."
The next one is about Egyptian passivity:
Mubarak wants some civil unrest so he can show his foreign supporters that they need him, or else Egypt will be in total chaos. So he gathers his cabinet and asks them, "We already beat them and steal their dignity, so what else can we do to provoke a revolt?"
His advisors are confused for a while, but eventually they realize: "We only beat them a few times a year, so let's do something that affects them every day."
They decide to put a toll on the 6th of October bridge, which everyone in Cairo uses daily. 5LE.
A few days later, Mubarak asks, "Are the people complaining?" "Nobody has said anything."
They increase the toll. 10LE.
Nobody says anything.
Mubarak is getting frustrated.
50LE, which is a week's salary for alot of people.
A bit of grumbling. But nobody says anything.
Now, Mubarak is desperate. His supporters are visiting soon and if he doesn't show some civil unrest, he might not get the emergency funds he needs. So he takes all the soldiers from all the embassies and puts them on the bridge, and tells them to rape anyone who wants to cross the bridge.
A few days later, he asks his advisors, "Are they complaining yet?"
"They humbly request if you could put more soldiers on the bridge, because now they're late for work."
The first is about election fraud:
In 2000, Bill Clinton is afraid concerning the upcoming presidential elections. He's been impeached, the country seems to be moving to the right, he's afraid of a resurgence of religious politics...
So he calls up Mubarak: "You're good at this, can you send someone over to take care of the elections here?" Mubarak promises to send his most trusted advisor, and assures Clinton that he has nothing to worry about.
So the election goes the way it goes, and Clinton calls up Mubarak, furious. Mubarak hasn't talked to his advisor yet, and so is confused, but he apologizes to Clinton and says he'll look into it.
Mubarak's advisor returns and Mubarak asks him, "What happened? Clinton just called me, furious!"
His advisor replies: "Congratulations, Mr. President. The United States is now yours."
The next one is about Egyptian passivity:
Mubarak wants some civil unrest so he can show his foreign supporters that they need him, or else Egypt will be in total chaos. So he gathers his cabinet and asks them, "We already beat them and steal their dignity, so what else can we do to provoke a revolt?"
His advisors are confused for a while, but eventually they realize: "We only beat them a few times a year, so let's do something that affects them every day."
They decide to put a toll on the 6th of October bridge, which everyone in Cairo uses daily. 5LE.
A few days later, Mubarak asks, "Are the people complaining?" "Nobody has said anything."
They increase the toll. 10LE.
Nobody says anything.
Mubarak is getting frustrated.
50LE, which is a week's salary for alot of people.
A bit of grumbling. But nobody says anything.
Now, Mubarak is desperate. His supporters are visiting soon and if he doesn't show some civil unrest, he might not get the emergency funds he needs. So he takes all the soldiers from all the embassies and puts them on the bridge, and tells them to rape anyone who wants to cross the bridge.
A few days later, he asks his advisors, "Are they complaining yet?"
"They humbly request if you could put more soldiers on the bridge, because now they're late for work."
posted by Aatif at 12:02 PM
1 Comments:
When I first read these, it struck me... to me all of these jokes are old news. I've heard every single one of them already. Ofcourse, when I heard them they were about Russia, not Egypt.
I doubt Egyptians came up with these and I don't think Russians did either.
I bet these jokes been around since the Roman Empire.
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